Fasting from art – I think I’ve been doing this for quite a while now.
I haven’t sat down and taken the time to just make something. or draw something. or think about something that intrigues/compels/disgusts/confuses me. I haven’t really been creative unless there has been financial incentive to do so.
But, as some of you know, I have a garden. And I sort of really regret never writing about this before … but a while ago I noticed there was a carpenter bee outside almost every day, humming around my tomato plants, pollinating and socializing with the flowers. The bee even managed to loudly find its way inside my parents room one day, and (scared) I ordered my dad to gently capture it and put it outside. The bee had made a home inside our back-door fence, and both my little sister and I would feel privileged to experience the coincidences between the days when we felt somewhat connected to the arrivals and departures of the bee. What it did inside that 1-inch hole in the fence, I am still not sure, but the pollen spilling out from the lip of the entrance told me it was a busy bee, and most likely was building something important.
So two days ago, I was devastated to find it on the floor, only a few feet away from its home, crouched over in spells of panicked spams. In fear, my little sister quickly named ‘him’ Filbert. But with the passing of the hour, we knew our bee’s home was now tenant-less, and the backyard felt a little more lonely than the day before.
Its body remained in perfect position – wings spread, legs delicately placed, and the leftover pollen sprinkled over its dark black underside made for great deal of uneducated inspection. I spent the next day reading up on the species, lifestyle and lie-span: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eastern_carpenter_bee
Now, if I neglect the fact that I wasn’t entirely enthralled to see a new bee scoping out the proposition of a vacated home yesterday, then I would be neglecting how important this first bee was to me… the Internet tells me the secrets of her life, and I am hoping that inside that 1-inch hole there might have remained a small nest of eggs. And I am told it was most likely a ‘she’ — Emma respectively retracted to “Filberta.”
So this isn’t a testament, or some kind of weird art-by-death project. But rather a simple break from my fasting of art. A short part of my summer that inspired something else.
I think there’s something to be said about art that is demanded by moments instead of paychecks. To me (at least) it makes for some of my better work. And I think there’s something to be said for that too.
Also, the emblem centered on its body is actually an image taken from my bathroom floor-tile. I begged my mom not to have it removed during a small renovation (as it is just as old as the entire house is). It remains one of the most intriguing patterns I have ever seen.
Oh yes, and Happy Birthday Gretchen :)
CLICK HERE!!!! Listen to Carpenter. You’re welcome.